Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize