I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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