Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
