Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
