I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
