dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
