Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
