If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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