I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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