Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
