she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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