dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize