it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
