Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
