I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
