woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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