someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
