I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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