your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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