We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
