cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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