I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize