You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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