i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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