We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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