the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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