we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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