I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
