i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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