haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize