when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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