Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
