Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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