If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
