What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
