How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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