yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she looked like the before picture.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
