is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
