If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
