Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
