Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
