I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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