Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
