i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
