Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
