ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
