Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
