Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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