i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize