My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
