Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
