i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You need a sexual gate keeper
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
