If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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