were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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