Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize