dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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