Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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