I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize