so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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