JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize