I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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