saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize