All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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