why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
