she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize