Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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