I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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