Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
