wat bout pragnant strippers??
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
