I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
