At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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