We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize