I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
meet me or not, i'm out of control
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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