I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
