is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
