She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
