I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
