And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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