Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
