i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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