She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize