apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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